Looking at Reflection in relation to my professional practice was
very interesting. I noticed quite a few reoccurring themes. This has made me
look in detail about what drives me and what my weaknesses are in my
profession. At the moment I feel as thought I am just over half way through my
professional dancing career, I know that if I had reflected on this as little
as a year ago my answers and thoughts would be very different. I have come to realise that your
professional life can be strongly driven by your personal life and vice versa.
When I first left college I was full of drive determined to get where I wanted,
always cared what people thought of me, wouldn’t have really consider going away from home on a long contract and
thought if you worked hard enough you would get what you wanted. Now however
after being in the industry for 3/4 years my thoughts are very different. I am
still driven and determined but in a different way. I always thought it was
about getting the best job, the one that had a name for itself that most people
would have heard of, however now I know it isn't about that. What I thought I
would love doing when I first graduated is not actually what I love the most. I
used to want to be in music videos and dance on TV. However now I love
performing on stage so much more. For me I get a lot more job satisfaction out
of that than anything else. I have
realised that you have to be good at every part of the
industry not necessarily in talent but networking, socialising, working
hard, knowing when to stick up for yourself and when to let things go and
trying to like everyone that you work with is sometimes impossible but learning
how to work together is enough. Where I thought I wouldn’t travel with work I now love it and have definitely
caught the travel bug. Therefore when I started answering the questions below
it surprised me what I first thought of and how much I have changed after only
3 years. Here are my thoughts to the questions below:
- What in your daily practice gets you really enthusiastic to find out more about?
At the moment my daily practice keeps changing regularly. I am currently in rehearsals for a new show. From these rehearsals it has really made me think about different teaching techniques and how to adapt to different styles quickly. I love learning a new style and the different ways you are challenged to learn and the way different people teach. For the last week I have been rehearsing on a one-to-one basis as I am the newest member to the show and the rest of the cast know the choreography already it is just me for now. From this I have realised how hard I find it to learn a show by yourself. At first I thought it would be great as I would have so much attention and would be able to really focus however a lot of the choreography is partner work and interacting with the rest of the cast. Without the atmosphere and rapport you have with your other cast members it is so hard to learn and perform. Even more so with partner work as you can learn the choreography but that means nothing when you can’t actually dance it as you should be being lifted. Therefore I am enthusiastic about team work creating and atmosphere together and entertaining people with that energy and power. I also enthusiastic about how much impact a good partnership can make on stage and how you can get so use to someones movements and knowing what they are about to do next.
I admire one of my fellow cast members and now company manger. He is
always enthusiastic and has so much energy. He sees the positive in a situation
and is grateful for every moment he gets to perform on stage and work in the
industry. I have found that a lot of performers can become complacent and lose
sight of why they are doing a job. He works so well in a team and can bring
people together, as he understands what it is like to be a cast member and sees
both sides to a given situation. His enthusiasm and energy is infectious and a
great motivated.
- What gets you angry or makes you sad?
In my working life at the moment what makes me sad is missing people
and the constant pressure of making it. Being away from home and having a job
where what you're doing constantly changes and isn’t stable, is a very hard life to lead. Being in the industry that we
are in, we sacrifice and miss out on important things that mean a lot to us.
For example telling a friend you won’t
be able to go to their wedding, missing birthdays, or important milestones in
the lives of the people you love the most. One of the hardest relationship to
keep is the one with your boyfriend/partner. Constantly having to arrange your
schedule around each other, being away from each other and compromising starts
to take its toll. This in particular gets harder as you get older and you
naturally want a more stable life, especially when other people your age that
you are surrounded by are starting to settle down. As a performer, particularly
a dancer you have a limited time span to fulfil what you want to achieve, as
your body can only withstand the industry for short amount time, compared to a
lot of other careers. For women in particular it is a very hard juggling act.
If you want children and a successful career it is so difficult to get a good
balance. The best way to get through this constant dilemma is knowing you are
not the only person that has this problem and finding a balance of what is
important to you.
A person I have always admired and find very inspiration is Carlos Acosta. I first read his biography ‘No Way Home’ as research for a project at dance college. Straight away I fell in love with his book and found his story so inspirational. It really changed how I thought about the passion and love you can have for something for example dancing and what a difference it can make to have that much passion for something in your life. Even the title of his book ‘No Way Home’ already dictates how he feels. Throughout his life he has faced many struggles to get where he is today particularly within his home life. At the start of his career he really struggled being away from his family and belonging somewhere as he had to travel for his dancing. I found the book comforting and inspiring. Although my background and life is completely different to his, it shows that people can get through so much, and that even the people that are top and the best is their profession struggle with the same issues.
- What do you love about what you do?
- Who do admire who also seems to love this or an example of what you love?
I love the feeling you have on stage when performing, I love how you can entertain people and hopefully get them to enjoy themselves for that moment when they are watching a show and get lost in it. Knowing that you are making someone feel something hopefully usually uplifted or happy depending what show you are doing but will have an effect on the audience in a positive way in which they gained something from watching you perform. Expressing yourself in a different form and someone else understanding how you feel. I love the whole process, of becoming a different character and performer. From the point where you are getting ready, putting on your make-up, and styling your hair, to learning a new style and woking with different people.
An example of what I love is what I am currently doing. I have
recently been learning a show set from the 1950s/60s. Since I have started I
have looked into what happened in that era, the social norms, how men and women
would have behaved, how they were treated and how they used to dress. After
just two weeks in of learning the show I already feel as though I have a better
understanding of the style. The whole process of this is exactly what I love
the most. Working with such talented people and seeing how they have taken to
the style, you can learn and develop your ability so much more.
- What do you feel you don't understand?
- Who do you admire who does seem to understand it or who has found a way of making not understanding it interesting or beautiful, or has asked the same question as you?
The main thing I will never understand in this industry is how it can be so fickle. There have been so many people I know that I thought would definitely work once they left college, but haven't worked at all. One minute you could be in constant work and the next you could not get any work for months, making it so much harder to make a living out of it. A lot of the time you could get to the end of an audition but then not be chosen, which obviously happens a lot to people. However the fact that you may not get any feedback to why you were unsuccessful and having to accept the reality that you will never know why they picked the other person over you. I think a big part of getting on in the industry is accepting the fact that you won’t know why and use the experience in a positive way.
Another area which I do not understand is there is a constant
question ‘what
are you doing next’.
As a performer you are always thinking about what is next and working towards
getting another contract whilst your still doing one so that there isn’t a big gap where you
are not working. I remember one of the best things a teacher said to me was, ‘Appreciate the job you’re doing and remember to enjoy
that moment, rather than thinking about what job is next, otherwise you won’t realise your success
and enjoy what you worked so hard for.’ At the time I remember not understanding why you wouldn’t do this but now I can
see it is completely true. I have found that it isn’t just people in the industry that do this but also people out side
of the industry. The first question people ask is what are you doing at the
moment and the what are you doing next. Sometimes you don’t know and you have to audition again. But
it is almost seen as unacceptable. that
a lot of the time we don’t
just appreciate our job at that time and are always thinking ‘what is next!’.
- How do you decide the appropriate ethical response in a given situation?
- To what extend are disciplinary responses different to that you might expect more generally in society? For example, what level of physical contact would you deem appropriate (and not) from another professional that you would find unacceptable more generally?
- Why?
I find this area of appropriate ethical response one of the hardest but also the best part about working with people in this industry. As most of my experience has been in dance contracts touring around different countries, I am going to focus on that area. In a normal workplace you usually just work with your colleagues, sometimes you might go for something to eat or drink or socialise after work together. However on a usual dance contract touring you would have to travel, work, eat, and usually have to share a room with someone, never really having a moment to yourself. You are constantly in each others company making it harder to keep your professional boundaries up all the time, eventually your personal life will come into the equation, therefore changing your relationship with your fellow work colleagues. When you are away from home and you are constantly around the same group of people, you automatically become a lot closer in a shorter amount of time than you normally would. Some people call it ‘living in a bubble’. Therefore when it comes to working in a show together most people in the cast know each others personal life. This can make your job easier and the connection you have with people makes a stronger performance on stage or it could make it harder as you all know each others business and it can sometimes get messy.
Another area which I have always found funny is the closeness and
how open you have to be in front of people. As a dancer you cannot be shy about
being half naked and getting changed in front of people. When there are quick
changes during a show you do not have time to be self conscious and have to let
your inhibitions go. In an office environment you would not work together half
naked and help each other get change, however this is the norm in the dance
world. You automatically have to feel more comfortable round each other in
order to do this.
Although at times this area of ethical boundaries can be blurred
between the lines and can make your work life harder, it can also be great. You
can make friends for life and have a much closer connection with people
generally. I have met so many amazing people and shared moments with them that
I will never forget. They are the ones that share that moment where you are living
your dream. If you are travelling around the world together, you see things
that most people dream about seeing. Although you aren’t with your loved ones who you would normally share those moments
with, the closeness that you have from the working environment that a performer
works in, makes it easier and a lot more meaningful with those you are with.
